Some days it feels like the only way to get things done is to chase after the daughter and nag her or chase after the husband and nag him. As much as I hate being a nag, I know I’ve been one. Occasionally (really, really rarely) my husband thanks me for nagging because it keeps him on target and doesn’t let him get away with ignoring things to get done.
That said, he doesn’t really like it when I nag and I don’t like nagging. We’ve worked out a lot of little ways we can communicate without the constant nagging and for the most part it works – but yeah, I do still nag sometimes.
- Communicate without words – Need more Advil? My husband puts the empty bottle on my desk, we’re out of cereal? I leave the empty box where he makes his breakfast. It delivers the message without the nagging
- Lists – I’m a huge fan of lists. I write lists out and tuck them into his laptop case so when he gets to work and opens his laptop TA DA – big fat reminder list right there. We also email a lot of ideas, needs and to dos back and forth. One of his quirks (drives me nuts) is the need to document, document, document, if it’s not documented it didn’t happen, but if I sent a note and he didn’t do it, he’s far more likely to go right back around do the task he forgot.
- Scheduling conflicts – This is a biggie, he’s on one schedule and I’m another. We don’t go to bed at the same time and I am always up before he is. I can’t demand that he do things on my schedule, it’s not reasonable – I can however ask for a specific time – later is not specific. The funny thing is, when you nail it down to a specific time, he’s committed and it gets done
- Break It Down – Sometimes we need to just break it down – he likes to grocery shop, I don’t mind cleaning the cat box – very clear delineation of efforts
- Do It Yourself – I used to say if I wanted something done in a very specific, timely manner, I did it myself. It’s not that I don’t trust my husband or that he can’t do it, but the stress of staying after him to do something in my way and not his own was just so not worth it
How do you not nag?