Many years ago, as a young single mother and her two children happily walked the neighborhood streets, they would practice the Japanese they were all learning.
“Ichi, Ni, San, Shi, Go,” they would count together as they reached every fifth house on the street. “One, two, three, four, five.”
The little girl had trouble remembering the Japanese word for “five”. Searching for something that had reason, the mother desperately tried to find a way to make “Go” stay in her daughter’s mind. A family committed to ending child abuse, the mother used a figure that had meaning to their social justice streak.
“Do you remember that five is the number of children who have their private parts touched?”
“Yuk,” squealed the little girl. “That’s very naughty. Those bad people should go away.”
“You’re right,” encouraged Mum. “Every fifth house we come to is like coming to a child who is being hurt. We have to tell those bad people, who do bad things, to GO away. Five equals “go.”
And so that little girl was able to remember that in Japanese, five is “go”. That little girl grew up, not only to speak conversational Japanese (it took more than the daily walks I can assure you!), but she is now both the sales manager and technology expert, of her family’s protective behavior business.
While reflecting on this story, I was saddened to think that within my daughter’s lifetime, the prevalence statistic of child sexual abuse has moved from one in five to one in three.
The house analogy has caused an argument or two in my life. My husband (my children’s stepfather) was unable to comprehend my work when we first met. When I first shared the prevalence statistic of one in three with him, he struggled to accept it and raised the house analogy himself.
“No way,” he argued. “That’s like every third house in the street where child sexual abuse may be occurring. There’s just no way.”
The more involvement he has had with my career and chosen field of service, the more he has understood and accepted that the statistic is probably correct. At first, he thought sexual abuse meant penile penetration only – rape. He was new to hearing about harms against children and had no knowledge of what constituted sexual assault and the continuum of behaviors that occur.
His innocence taught me more than all of my years at University and post-graduate study. He showed me what it means to be exposed to the horror of child sexual assault and the fear of thinking that it may be happening in your very street.
Thank you to him and thank you to my daughter who now assists me in raising the consciousness of people like you. Faithfully they both attend my trainings, advocacy talks and presentations and provide an innumerable amount of administration to me (I’m not very good with it!).
I wish that the prevalence figure was one in ten, or better, none at all. The Japanese word for three is “San” (pronounced “sun”). This Sexual Violence Awareness month, please remember that for one in three of our world’s children, the sun does not shine every day.
Related articles:
Sexual Violence Awareness Month
The Myths and Facts About Incest and Child Sexual Assault
Mary Poppins was Written by a Child in Need of Protection
I was Abused by Five different Predators as a Child: Sophie’s story
How Do I know if a Child is Being Abused?
Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast – Megan Bayliss