When the topic of pregnancy comes up, 99% of the time, all the information, advice, and attention is given to the woman. After all, it is she who is carrying the child, dealing with the symptoms of pregnancy, and going through the unforgettable experience of childbirth. But what about dad?
Today’s pregnancy blog is just for you, daddy-to-be. I want to give you a little credit for weathering the storm of our mood swings, driving to the store to get us ice cream and pickles at 3am, listening to us complain about our round ligament pain, and letting us squeeze all the blood out of your hand during contractions.
I also want to give you some advice for preparing to be a father and supporting the mother of your children during this adventurous time.
1. Always be open to talk about the pregnancy. Chances are, you will get tired of the topic, and you may wonder why she can’t seem to get it off her mind, but listening intently is one of the best things you can do for her. Even if she wanted to think about something other than her baby, she is constantly reminded of her condition. Whether she is feeling ill, getting kicked in the ribs, or running to the bathroom every 30 minutes, there is always something that is bringing her mind right back to “baby.” It’s no wonder she can’t think of anything else to talk about!
2. Humor her and hold a baby. I know more than a handful of guys who never held an infant until they first held their own. My husband was one of those guys. “I never held a baby before because I never had to. Plus, I didn’t want to hold someone else’s baby the wrong way.” I can understand this sentiment; babies are fragile looking and somewhat floppy. What I told my husband, and what I tell other guys who are hesitant to cradle a baby, is that babies are more resilient than you think. Gather them up and make sure everything is supported, but remember that they experienced tremendous pressure and strain on their little bodies during birth. They are built to handle it; that’s why they are so flexible. If you can hold a puppy, you can hold a baby. You will not hurt them (unless you let go.) Women just want to see you hold a baby because they think it’s cute, it’s not an audition for the real thing.
3. Babies don’t remember anything for a reason. I seriously think that the lack of infant memory is a gracious gift from God to both parents and their children. There is no such thing as a perfect mother or a perfect father, especially the first time around. Your baby will cry. Your baby will get hurt. Your baby will likely hear you slip up and say that four letter word. (Fart.) Take a deep breath and sigh with relief because your baby won’t remember any of it. Relax. You have about two years to practice being a parent before having to worry about your child complaining about you to a therapist in twenty years. You likely have an army of doctors, parents, friends and other family members to help you in your journey as a parent. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and trust your instincts. You will be a great father.
4. Enjoy her while you can. After the baby is born, mama-to-be’s time will be monopolized by your child. Take every opportunity to spend quality time with her during the pregnancy. Date her like you used to, enjoy the silence of your home together, be spontaneous whenever possible, and make every day count. It will be hard to spend much alone time together once your little one arrives.