We joined the Foster and Adoptive Parents support group close to us in our county before we were licensed. We knew we were going to need not only the continuing education credits, but the support of other foster parents. We were new and everything we’d been told in our training is that parenting foster children is different. We would not be able to talk about parenting our children with our friends the way we would if they were our own children. The parenting issues may seem the same, but they’re not. The children have had life experiences beyond what they should have that magnify the developmental issues. So while your nine-year-old foster child may be going through the same issues as another nine-year-old child, he’s also dealing with the loss of his family and any number of things another nine-year-old is not experiencing. You cannot talk about the children’s cases with your friends outside of the foster system, so vagaries make it harder to relate.
Foster and Adoptive Parent support groups were formed to give foster and adoptive parents the support they need so much. Being a foster parent is different from being a regular parent in so many ways. I am a regular parent. I make meals. I give baths. I play. I change diapers. I get kids dressed. The children nap and go to bed. I do everything that most every other mom does. The difference is that I have regulations on my home. I have regulations on the girls’ bedrooms and toys. I have regulations on how many children I can have living in my home. I need my support group to help me stay current on the rules and regulations. I need my support group to have a place to talk about everything that’s going on with the children.