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Friday Funnies: Can We Have a Little More Friday Funny Marriage Humor?

Love Letter

I shall seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and control you.

I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.

I will make you beg for mercy.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.

And you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Kids Say the Darndest Things

  • “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
  • “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”
  • “Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings.”
  • “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
  • “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”
  • “Love is if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you’re in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay.”
  • “Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redbird.”
  • “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”
  • “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.”
  • “You can break love, but it won’t die.”
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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.