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Friday Marriage Funnies – 10 Things Wives & Girlfriends Need to Know

The great thing about Fridays is the good humor, the laughter and the welcome relief of knowing the weekend is here. For married parents in my area, it’s also the last school day for a week and we’ll all be scrambling to get ready for the holidays. Some of us will be traveling. Some of us will be having visitors. Hopefully, all of us will be having a good time.

So with that in mind, here are 10 things that wives and girlfriends need to know – or at least that most of the men in our lives would like women to know. So without further ado, here they are:

  • Sports Center starts at 11:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister.
  • Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.
  • Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all our friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J. Crew or the local Patagonia store.
  • If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
  • Butthead is the smart one.
  • Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
  • You probably don’t want to know what we’re thinking about.
  • Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about “us” and “the relationship.”
  • Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.
  • Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are, watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking out the beer.

*Remember, this is all in good humor – and any resemblance to real life is purely unintentional – though likely funnier for you.

Related Articles:

10 Things He Needs From His Wife

If You Could Do It Over Again: What Would You Do?

Cherish the One You Love

This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.