What is Marriage?
The child was a typical four-year-old girl – cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said. “That was when mommy came to work for us?”
What are the Vows?
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing “wedding.” The wedding vows went like this:
“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”
What is the Best Advice?
At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”
I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, “She’s probably right.”
Best Man Joke At the Wedding (Not Necessarily a Good Idea)
Collect a lot of keys from the wedding party/friends WITHOUT the bride and groom’s knowledge. Pass them out to as many women as possible (swearing them to secrecy).
During your speech, announce the “The bride realises that the groom has had a lot of girlfriends over the years. She would appreciate it if any of them who have keys to his place could please return them.”
This is the cue for all the women to bring their keys to the wedding party table. Try to get a couple of pregnant women in the group and maybe somebody’s grandma.