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From May to December – Age Difference in Marriage

Does age really make a difference where love is concerned? The romantic in me would like to believe that it doesn’t – but the stigma attached to a May-December relationship says otherwise. The term itself, May-December, refers to a huge age difference between a groom and his bride. Oddly enough, when an older woman marries a younger man, the stigma is not as profound, but when a man of advanced years marries a much younger woman, it’s a whole other ball of wax.

Anna Nicole Smith

The first name that may pop to mind when you think May-December is Anna Nicole Smith. She catapulted to fame by marrying a much, much older millionaire. She was young, she was buxom and she reveled in the lifestyle her marriage afforded her. Rumors of gold digger would persistently pursue her for the rest of her life.

When her husband died, he left a huge amount of his wealth to his wife. His family protested and sued to try and invalidate the will. The lawsuit and all the ugly stories surrounding it were tabloid fodder for months. The relationship, many felt, was all about Anna getting her hands on her husband’s money. In his eighties, he did not live long after their marriage and other than some good arm candy, what could he possibly have seen in his wife?

Other Famous May-December Marriages

There are some who would put Prince Charles and Princess Diana in this category. She was just 20 when she married him. He was 32 and while 12 years is hardly an extreme age difference, his more worldly experience definitely put them on different footing. More recently, there has been a negative backlash to Katie Holmes and her marriage to Tom Cruise. Katie was a baby when Tom made his infamous slide across the floor in his underwear in sunglasses.

The media chews these stories out and regurgitates them for public titillation – but there are other stories of May-December relationships that are far from romantic in nature. Horror stories of forced marriages between very young girls and much older men. Forced marriage isn’t about a May-December romance at all.

The simple truth is – love can exist between people of varying ages – and while we should have an age requirement for relationships (we do – it’s 18) of this nature, beyond that – if a couple really loves each other, then they should be able to enjoy that love without fear of public consumption.

My mother was involved in a May-December relationship, the man she fell in love with was nearly 25 years older than she was. My grandmother always contended she was trying to replace her father, but I think she was just trying to find love and whether the man was 25 years older or 25 years younger, if they were happy together – then so was I.

What do you think?

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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.