I think many of us single parents work so hard to distance ourselves from the stereotype of the irresponsible, different-date-every-night, financially precarious single parent that we take on a very serious and determined demeanor. In fact, we can get so focused on putting family first and rising to the challenges of duty and responsibility that we forget to give ourselves permission to have some fun. Some of us may even be “punishing” ourselves for our situations or think that we don’t deserve to have a good time since our lives are such a challenge. But, in fact, single parents deserve and need to have fun too!
Just so you know, I am writing this as much for myself as for anyone else. I am definitely one of those people who put a lot of pressure on myself to get the work done first. But the thing with family life is, the work is never completely done and without some playfulness, silliness, pleasure and laughter, we don’t have the energy or strength to keep doing that work. Now, I’m not advocating going out on the town every night of the week or risky, immature behaviors, but finding things that give you pleasure and letting down your guard enough to have some fun is so important. Personally, I’ve totally outgrown bars and dances and such, but I derive a great deal of pleasure from a long walk in the rain along the river, or wandering thrift stores, or spending an afternoon at a book store, or visiting with some chosen friends. I love going out to dinner or a movie or play, and I even enjoy getting goofy and having some laughs with my kids. Over the years, I find that I don’t turn to “friends” as much, or feel the urge to just get out and be social since I finally learned that is often more work and less fun that I need it to be, but I do have to force myself to put down the to-do list and get out and have some fun.
Just because we are hard-working single parents, doesn’t mean we have to chain ourselves to that rock of responsibility forever. Having some fun is good for our dispositions, our health, our mental health, and our families.
Also: Relax! It Will Alter Your Perspective
Cherish Yourself First, Don’t Lose Yourself in Your Kids