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Gee Thanks for the Advice!

More tales of potty-training…

About a week ago my wife went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday, and as the only one with young children at the table – the guest of honor is in her mid-twenties and her mom was in attendance – she gets asked lots of questions about the girls. All the ladies at the table have been around our two little ones since before they were born, and have been special in their lives.

So my wife mentions the ups and downs of toilet training. And so the birthday girl’s mom offered this advice:

“Well, after a while, I just made them [she had a son as well as a daughter] clean themselves up if they didn’t make it to the potty. That lasts for about a day or two!”

This sounded like great advice. We figured that just the feeling of wetting oneself (let alone pooping on oneself) would be enough to inspire the girls to pay attention to their bodily functions. But of course, actually having to clean up after yourself at two and a half – well, that surely would be the final straw to getting over the hump to independent bladder control!

Funnily enough, the day had been a pretty good one for the little one. I was with the girls most of the day, and she made every time I got her to the potty seat, and the only accident she had was while she napped (we always put her into a pull-up when nap time rolls around). And – that afternoon, she’d initiated two trips — one for each “thing.” Boy, was I thrilled. I almost called my wife at the Thai restaurant to tell her, but I thought better of it.

So not too long after her “number two” trip, my wife came home, and we began to try to wind the girls down to get ready for bed – and the little one makes number one. Naturally, fresh with the new advice, my wife decides to bring her upstairs to have her clean herself. She puts her in the tub so she can wash.

Then, suddenly, comes number two.

There were many sounds of disgust emanating from the bathroom while I read my oldest her Lizzie McGuire mystery book. I tried to help my wife after a while but it was not easy. She was really, as we say, “skeeved.” Eventually I was able to get both girls into pajamas while she cleaned the toilet.

I reminded her of the time when our oldest was a baby, about a year old, and pooped in the bathtub. But of course this was much much worse.

Three steps forward and two backward!

And so much for THAT advice!

Of course, as Pooh once said of bees, “you never can tell”. We do our best, and as much as our patience is tested on a daily basis, we’re still moving forward.

We’re still going to be careful when we get some more advice, however.

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About T.B. White

lives in the New York City area with his wife and two daughters, 6 and 3. He is a college professor who has written essays about Media and the O.J. Simpson case, Woody Allen, and other areas of popular culture. He brings a unique perspective about parenting to families.com as the "fathers" blogger. Calling himself "Working Dad" is his way of turning a common phrase on its head. Most dads work, of course, but like many working moms, he finds himself constantly balancing his career and his family, oftentimes doing both on his couch.