In a General Conference talk given in October 1977, entitled “The Enriching of Marriage”, Elder James E. Faust of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy outlines a variety of methods to avoid divorce by growing and strengthening our marriages.
Elder Faust first tells the story of a woman who received a justified divorce, by his reckoning. Several years later, the woman told him that, had she known then what she knew ‘now’, she would have remained in the marriage. He goes on to cite the statistic that, as he gave his talk, for every 100 marriages in a year, 50 divorces were granted. He warns that in the upcoming years – years which we have since passed – that number could rise to 70 divorces per 100 marriages.
He then asks the questions that many who consider, go through, or are in some ways affected by divorce must ask themselves. These questions are complicated, and he notes that there are no easy answers as to why some can find happiness in marriage while others fail to. There are also many complex reasons for divorce, including “the serious problems of selfishness, immaturity, lack of commitment, inadequate communication, (and) unfaithfulness,” among others. But there is a thread that laces through all of these that Elder Faust claims can frequently lead to divorce. “It is the lack of a constant enrichment in marriage. It is an absence of that something extra which makes it precious, special, and wonderful, when it is also drudgery, difficult, and dull.”
He goes on to list a variety questions that we can use to analyze ourselves and our marriage. As we ponder these questions – questions such as “is (my spouse) my best friend?” and “how deep is my commitment to my companion?” – we can re-evaluate our marriages and our relationships with our spouses.
He also notes several tools we can use to enrich our marriage, including communication, trust, loyalty, and virtue. He reminds us of the important of keeping a close relationship with Heavenly Father, who he calls “the best keeper of marriages.” “Divorces are increasing because in many cases the union lacks that enrichment which comes from the sanctifying benediction which flows from the keeping of the commandments of God,” he goes on to state. “It is a lack of spiritual nourishment.”
He concludes by noting that the big things that keep our marriages together are the little things we do in our daily lives. By serving and caring for our spouse, by keeping our words kind and our actions loving, our marriages can grow stronger and more loving.
I really enjoyed this talk, and look forward to studying it again. The questions asked were very thought-provoking, even though I knew most of the things he recommended. In a time of so great turmoil in the world, we need to be sure we are constantly working to enrich our marriages and make sure our spouse knows how much we love them. This will help to make both our earthly and our eternal lives far happier and more fulfilling.
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