One of the adjustments that single parents have to make if they have been part of a partnership or marriage prior to becoming single parents is how to go from being a twosome, to doing things on your own. If you are used to having another parent to go to school concerts and conferences with, or stand on the sidelines together cheering at a soccer game, it can take some time to learn how to feel comfortable doing things as a solo parent.
In my situation, I was quite used to doing things on my own even when I was partnered. While I certainly had a different idea of what it was going to be like before I had kids, I very quickly had to adjust to the fact that in my marriage, we often did NOT do things together or provide that united cheering front for our children. That doesn’t mean it was easy. There were times when I definitely felt very self-conscious or it seemed like I was the only single parent among a crowd of doubles.
I found it helps to keep the focus on the children and being supportive for them. It is amazing how much strength we can get from that. Of course, there are going to be other things—social engagement and business dinners and non-parenting activities that will require us to go without a partner. Over time, you can try inviting a friend to go with you or getting yourself psyched up to go on your own. It does get easier as time goes by and you might even find that you enjoy having to only worry about yourself and your own appearance, behavior, etc. when you are out and about. Try to be patient with yourself and go easy—it is tough. If you can ally yourself with other single parents you won’t feel so obvious or self-conscious. I found that getting to know other single parents helped me to have folks to talk to or even just encourage each other as we learned how to do things solo.
Also: Find an Ally
What Can You DO For Other Single Parents?
Single and Sad? or Single and Sassy?