Each family has their own way of handling their children. I’m not suggesting my way is the only right one. I don’t know your children, but I know many other people’s children and have shaped my views around experiences shared by them.
My husband and I see our home as ours. We are the parents, we hold the mortgage and we make the rules. Our children’s rooms are theirs as long as they should live under our roof. They are welcome to have input in how it’s decorated, and to enjoy their own space, but they are not to be tarring down the walls by any means.
If there is nothing to hide, there shouldn’t be a problem with us walking in their room (with common courtesy we will knock if they are in the room) if we need to find something. We respect the right for a child to keep a journal and probably would not feel the need to view it unless we felt they were in trouble of any kind.
As long as we’re legally responsible for our child’s well being, we have a right to know where they are and who they’re with at anytime. We believe it’s so important for us as parents to keep involved in our children’s lives. We only have a short time to protect them and guide them. I believe strongly in the saying, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion.” Our children deserve to know why we are to be protective of them. Just barking commands doesn’t gain anyone’s respect. It’s so important to ask them what’s going on in their lives. Hopefully if they know inquiries of their day come up often, they will be more inclined to have safe things to share. I love my children too much to not know what’s going on in their life.
This could be a rather controversial topic so I’ve started a discussion on it in the Teen section of Families.com’s forum entitled, “Getting into Your Teen’s Business.” I really hope to hear some other perspectives or shared views.
Please check out my other Christian parenting blogs from this series:
Honoring Your Mother and Father
Teaching Our Children Self-Respect