Several years ago I fell in love and was proposed to. I eagerly said yes and the wedding planning began! What is different, but not uncommon, about our union is that we both had children from previous relationships. We were not just coming together as husband and wife but also as Mother and Father.
Because blending is hard enough work as it is, it was important to us to include the children in our wedding plans. This was my first marriage so it was important that it be treated as such. But even if it was my 101st marriage, every marriage is a special marriage that carries hope, joy and love with endless possibility. We thought long and hard about how to incorporate the kids in the event while still having a traditional ceremony. This is becoming more and more common and we have, since, been to a few weddings where the children have been beautifully incorporated into the ceremony.
Here are a few ideas we’ve picked up since our big day:
- First thing first – Make sure to assign someone to be there for your kids before, during and after the wedding and reception. Kids get tired, they get messy, they get bored most of all. They need their own personal entertainers. Consider hiring a mother’s helper for this job as most of your close friends and family will want to enjoy your wedding and reception and will want the night off as family babysitter!
- Involve the kids in the wedding party. We had five kids and gave the two oldest the joint job of ring bearers, the middle two had the joint job of flower girl and flower boy and the youngest, who was almost two, had no official job but was free to roam in his adorable tuxedo throughout the ceremony. Older children can stand as groomsmen or bridesmaids and it is not uncommon, now, to see teens stand as maid of honor or best man for their parents.
- Include the kids in the plans. We let the kids pick out a few of their favorite songs to add to the DJ list. We invited a few of our kids’ friends. We involved the kids in the rehearsal dinner. We had special pampering days just for the girls.
- Consider writing or using a special reading, during the ceremony, specifically for the children. We had vows written for our entire family in addition to our vows to each others. These were very meaningful to all of us. This is also a perfect way to share your feelings about your impending blended family with all of your family and friends at once.
- A family member created a beautiful family slideshow of the Bride and the Groom as infants and then on through childhood, up through their relationship, the birth of their child and included current pictures as well. It was very touching and, set to music, also entertaining. They played this while the guests waited for the ceremony to begin.
- Rent a limo and ride to the wedding ceremony as a family. We wanted to be by ourselves after our ceremony so we made it a point to include the kids in the limo ride to the ceremony. Some families enjoy touring around in the limo together after the ceremony and before the reception, as well.
- At the reception, consider providing some child-friendly areas of fun. We had a few tables covered in paper and baskets of washable art supplies so the kids could entertain themselves in a safe way. We also provided small musical instruments for the kids that they used to dance and parade around on the dance floor.
- Kids are pretty good at entertaining themselves as long as there is an upbeat band playing! But we’ve been to a few wedding where karaoke was provided and it is an absolute blast for adults and kids alike!
- Consider kids when you chose your menu. We opted to have a buffet-style meal with many finger foods so there was something for everyone. We wanted to offer food to those with children right away so there weren’t long waits for meals to be served.
Most of all have fun and remember that this is not just the Bride and Groom’s special day, it is also the Children’s Family Day – a day they will never forget.