The first few days after a breakup are the worst and breakups themselves are terrible. The best way to start on the path of recovery is to focus on you, yourself and you. Don’t dwell on the person who’s not there anymore, instead allow yourself to be a bit selfish and self-centered. Do what makes you happy. If you like romantic comedies, go see them, if you like sports, go play them, if you saw some new shoes that you really liked and you can afford them, go for it.
The first few weeks after a breakup are about you, they are about rediscovering and renewing your relationship with you. If you want to make plans with really good friends or family, people who make you feel secure and loved, do it. If you want to take some time to mourn and curl up in the bed with a pint of ice cream and your favorite tear jerker, do it. It’s your right, all of it, any of it or none of it, however as you want to do it. If you really hate doing laundry – skip it – if you don’t care if your towels are hung up in the bathroom, don’t bother. Don’t make yourself do what you really don’t want to do. Now, this doesn’t mean quit your job and move out of your apartment. Don’t do something so drastic that it ‘hurts’ you more than the breakup did.
Never be ashamed that you’ve broken up from a relationship. At some point in time everyone has gone through a breakup. Whether you are at fault or your partner was, no side of a breakup is enjoyable. The old adage of “time heals all wounds” is true because – time does heal. It’s natural to mourn a relationship, it’s natural to feel the hurt and the pain, but allow yourself to get over it and as time passes you will find it gets easier and easier. There is no magic number or wand that can be waved that causes recuperation.
Experiences like breakups, separations or divorces are not fun – in fact they are often wretched and horrible. But sometimes, without a breakup or a divorce, you can’t meet someone else or have a new experience or take on a new challenge – so much can happen after a breakup that in retrospect, that breakup that hurt so badly may not have been an ending so much as a new beginning.