I got the Bad Mom Award yesterday. My daughter nominated me for it after I’d been trying to get a workshop organized for 2 hours, with a total of about 30 minutes work achieved. I work from home part of the time – writing, editing, and creating workshops about environmental education.
Today I got the Bad Mom Award because I’d asked my husband to play with my daughter for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, Sunday afternoon was the only time he had available, and my daughter was tired after a busy day. I badly needed to get work done – so badly that I didn’t want to wait until my daughter was in bed. Bad move. Much whining, complaining, and more than the usual level of interaction later, I received my award: “You’re the worst mommy ever!”
It’s funny – when my daughter is engrossed in play, I can write to my heart’s content. Or I can do the dishes, the laundry, or make a phone call. Ok, maybe I can’t quite make a phone call. However, when the “to do” list gets too long and I let her know that I really, really need to get something done, I suddenly have a very needy four-year-old.
All moms work from home, whether we’re making dinner, caring for sick siblings, or trying to run a home business. I’ve used a number of strategies to work from home, and despite my occasional blunderings, they usually work fairly well.
1. Get your child involved in what you’re doing. When they’re tiny, this means wearing them on your back as you cook and clean. As they get bigger, they enjoy working alongside you and imitating you as you cook or clean. At four and five, children enjoy inventing their own work that looks like yours but has their own independent twist.
2. Have a task that your child can do while you work. This works especially well for those of you who run home businesses or need to do email frequently. My daughter has special toys in my office and will play with them there…for a little while.
3. Cultivate independent and cooperative play. Yeah, yeah, I know that this can take a long time to develop. However, I have never felt compelled to entertain my daughter, and when she’s in the mood she will gladly play for ages with her toys, as long as she can check in regularly with me.
4. Send your kids outside. Really. It’s good for them to mess around out there. If you have a safe spot where the kids can play, then they can have fun while you garden or do housework. If you have computer work to do and you have a laptop to do it on, so much the better!
5. Become an intrepid multi-taker when the going gets tough. While I can multitask with the best of them, sometimes I avoid it because multitasking can get stressful. However, I have been known to knit during dance class, go grocery shopping during preschool, or go swimming during my daughter’s swimming lesson.
Do you involve your preschooler in household tasks? What happens when you have to get something done?