Sometimes, life calls upon us to deal with some pretty heavy stuff–whether it is a job change or loss, a long and messy divorce, moving to a new town, or whatever big challenge life has in store for us, usually, there is just no way to get around it. We have to go through the process and the experience in order to get to the other side.
It can feel normal and even “healthy” to avoid the really hard stuff. I know that when I was getting started on my own divorce, there were a few days where it was the last thing I wanted to think about or face. When I did get started, my ex-husband put off responding or participating for much longer. It was an unpleasant task and I was left to manage it mostly on my own. Meanwhile, there were children to feed, work to attend to and I was back in school full time. When I look back now it all seems a blur and I cannot even believe that I got through the whole thing as well as I did–but I did. I just had to immerse myself in the process and press on, regardless.
These tough processes are often painful–they hurt and take a lot of focus, energy, resources, and time. They are uncomfortable, to say the very least, but when we get through on the other side, we have accomplished something–we have learned lessons and grown as a person. We might even discover new pieces of ourselves that we never knew existed and while we might be exhausted or little weary, we will have made it through one of those tough life processes that, luckily, do not normally come along every day. Then we can rest up a bit before we are called upon to face another!
Also: Can You Guide Your Family Calmly?