When I wrote earlier today about nurturing and paying attention to our relationships as single parents, I realized that many of us might not be exactly sure what is missing or how we can reach out and reconnect with those relationships that have fallen by the wayside. One place to start is to think about emotional support—how can we give it and how can we receive it back?
While we can all use a helping hand from time to time, someone to help out watching the kids or help us clean out the garage, often what we really need is emotional support. We need to have a person or two to tell our troubles to; someone who will understand, empathize and offer the kind of unconditional support that we all crave. In order to receive emotional support, however, we also have to be able to give that to others. For a single parent who might be stretched to the point of breaking with family, work and personal obligations, finding the energy and devotion to be emotionally supportive can be a big challenge.
Of course it is to be expected that most of your emotional reserves will go to your children, but you may find that by taking care of yourself too, you will find the energy and interest to be emotionally supportive of others and thus, will receive that support back in turn. Start slowly, calling or e-mailing your friends and asking how THEY are for a change and expressing an interest in what is going on in their lives is a good place to start. I admit that I have had several friends who assume that since they are having a tough time that is the ONLY thing we can talk about. It is nice to have some give and take in our relationships. I also think it can help us get out from under self-pity if we try to give some emotional support to others for a change.