As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, we all do what we usually do (besides panicking that the holidays are almost here), we think about what we are grateful for. During the year, we spend our time being busy with the to do lists of the day and rarely take the time to truly be restful and focused on the good in our lives, which means that sometimes we let the bad outweigh the good.
As the parent of a child with a chronic health condition, I have numerous opportunities throughout the day to be angry, frustrated, annoyed, and sad. And I have been known on numerous occasions to take those opportunities and run with them. Sometimes I have to have a little breakdown or two. It can be a huge emotional release and allow me to be happier the next day. However, there is much more in life to be grateful for than to complain about.
First of all, having a child with a special need teaches you a lot about what really matters in life. Maggie’s diagnosis of cystic fibrosis means that right at this moment her life expectancy is about age forty. But we are optimistic based on research and clinical trials that she will live well beyond that. However, having a doctor tell you that your child will have a shorter life makes you appreciate every day that she does have and enjoy each day that you have with her. It reminds you that none of us knows how long we will be here. It could all end tomorrow, so enjoy today.
Through raising a child with a special need, we have also learned the meaning of a true friend. We are so grateful to everyone who helps with Maggie and takes the time to understand her needs. We also have had the great experience of acquaintances and coworkers becoming a support network we didn’t even know we had. Not only do they listen, but they also work alongside us to find a cure for our daughter. It doesn’t matter to them that there are other things they could be doing with their time that would be more beneficial to them, they do whatever they can whenever they can to help us.
When you have a child with a special need, money can become very tight very quickly. The bills will always be there and will keep piling up, but you almost don’t care. If it costs money but will help your child in even the slightest way, than you’ll go another year without a haircut. Money and material possessions are nothing compared to your child’s health. We are lucky enough to know that even if we had to sell our house to pay for medical bills, we would have a home to go to because of our family.
A child who must work harder to meet milestones or to stay healthy teaches you about resilience and hard work. They show you how to stay strong through even the toughest of times. They manage to stay happy and smiling through blood draws and tests and even through daily treatment regimes that we as adults would tire of and probably quit. Children with special needs are fighters and show us that anything is possible.
If you have a child with a special need, take the time this Thanksgiving season to consider all of the blessings she has brought into your life.