There are so many challenges to being a single parent. One of the biggest is the loss of your dreams.
When we get married we all think that this is the person we will grow old with, the person who will share all of life’s ups and downs. The person who will support us when it comes to fulfilling out dreams.
It’s hard to let go of that. The thing that still makes me the saddest is knowing that I no one else feels like I do about my daughter. There is no one to share the joys of her life and help to shoulder the stress when life gets rough with a teenager.
I was sad to see my dreams die. There won’t be a golden anniversary. There are so many things I won’t share with my ex husband, things I always thought we would share. That’s hard.
Harder still were the dreams that Hailey had to give up. When we first got divorced she was devastated to move from the only home she had ever known. Her room, her neighborhood, her friends, her school. Everything changed for her and she had no control over it.
As a single mother there were so many times I had to say no to things Hailey wanted to do. There just wasn’t enough time or money. I couldn’t always arrange rides for activities she wanted to participate in or afford the fees for stuff she wanted to do.
That was hard. I felt like it was all my fault even though logically I know divorce takes two people, just like marriage. I was still the one who had to tell her no, who had to deal with her disappointment day in and day out.
I wish I could have found a way for her to enjoy more things, but I couldn’t and I will always feel bad about that.