Since I am living through the intensity of high school graduation—double-time (with two daughters moving on to college)—I have been writing about some of my challenges and observations. One of the big ones for us was deciding whether to have a party or not, and then figuring out what sort of a party, how to invite people and even coordinating the “when” was a big deal…
Once my daughters decided that they could and would have a party together, they were both on board. At first, they just weren’t sure. There are so many other parties going on and one of my daughters has two different graduation ceremonies to attend. Not to mention, they are both feeling very much “done” and ready to move on. My approach was to leave it up to them—I told them that there was absolutely no pressure and that this was their accomplishment to celebrate any way they wanted—I would simply support and facilitate. They decided that they wanted to have a simple party with family and friends, but that they want it after all of the other activities are over—this means that we are having the graduation party, over a week after all the graduation activities, ceremonies an obligations have been put to rest.
Whether a child is graduating kindergarten, middle school, high school or college, I do believe that it should be up to them how they want to celebrate. Not everyone is happy about a party. As my girls pointed out, they feel a certain obligation to be hosts and that can be exhausting—it is their accomplishment and even if the family would love to dote on them or make a fuss, I do not think that a child should have to suffer or exhaust themselves just to satisfy imposed obligation. I am sure there are those who feel differently as this is just my opinion. What I told my girls was that whether they had a party or not—it wasn’t going to make them any more or less graduated. The goal of a party should be to celebrate, enjoy and feel great about what they have done AND to send them off on the next great adventure.
Also: Graduation–Part Two–the Paperwork!
Graduation–Part One–Family Dynamics