Grandparents are you being fair to your children and your grandchildren? Too often I hear grandparents say they enjoy having grandchildren because ‘I can spoil them rotten and then hand them back to their parents.’ I’m appalled whenever I hear grandparents make such comments.
When my Mom was alive no-one could have loved her grandson more but she never spoilt him. She treated him the same way she treated me growing up –by showing lots of love but not spoiling him and buying things all the time and certainly not by letting him misbehave or run rampant. If he was naughty he got into trouble and was punished exactly as I was when I was a child. As a parent, I always felt confident to leave him with her when we went out.
Parents who spoil their children and give them everything aren’t doing them any favors. The same applies to grandparents.
When our son was little my husband’s mother got into a habit of bringing him sweets every time she visited. We let it go for a while. When he started to look forward not to her visits but what he would get, we put a stop to it. We explained why and asked her not to do it any more. She complied.
I admit, I sometimes buy our grandchildren a gift- usually a book if I see something they might like. I don’t always buy one for each of them but expect them to share, and I only do it occasionally. When they come to visit I expect them to behave and they do.
One example of a grandmother in the Bible who did an excellent job is Lois – grandmother of Timothy. From an early age, along with his mother Eunice, she taught Timothy about God and gave him a love for God’s Word, 2 Timothy 1: 5. Grandparents should aim to help their sons and daughters bring up their children in a way that is pleasing to God. That is in a disciplined way with a good grounding in God’s Word and certainly not spoiled rotten.
Ephesians 6:4 says, ‘Fathers do not exasperate your children.’ Could I suggest this applies not to fathers but both parents. While it means not doing things to exasperate them while they are young, by parents expecting too much of their children or being too demanding, surely it also applies here. Grandparents don’t exasperate your children by spoiling your grandchildren and then leaving their parents to deal with the results of spoiling and allowing unruly behavior.
Anyone care to comment?
Bible verses from The New International Version
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Parents, don’t frustrate your children