I know my mother means well but I think she has forgotten what it was like to raise a teenager. Recently I was talking to my mom about how I finally started letting my 11 and 13-year-old ride their bikes with friends to the park. She clearly disagreed with my decision to do this.
I will admit that I have been a very protective parent. It has only been this past year that I have started to loosen the reins a bit and understand that I can’t put my children in a bubble. There are still some things I won’t budge on but I know in my heart that it is for their own good.
Letting my children go to the park is a huge deal. My kids would tell me how everyone else gets to go to the park. So I finally relented and now that they are enjoying a little more freedom, I see it’s working out nicely.
My mom seems to have forgotten some things. I was allowed to go to the park by myself when I was 11 years old. We didn’t live in the best neighborhood. She also didn’t have access to me. She couldn’t just call me up and make sure I was okay. We live in a nice neighborhood and my daughter has a cell phone where we can easily reach each other.
I won’t let my children go alone to the park; they have to be with at least one other person. Yet I was allowed to go all by myself. I wanted to tell my mom about all the trouble I got into that she doesn’t know about but refrained from doing so.
My mom is also not happy about the possibility that I may let my daughter put blue streaks in her hair. I know that some people feel passionately about letting teenagers color their hair. But here is what my perspective has always been. As long as my child is doing well in life, hair isn’t a big deal.
I allowed her to put temporary blue streaks in her hair and because her natural hair is so dark, the blue doesn’t obnoxiously stand out. I thought back to some of the styles I had when I was a teenager. My mom must have forgotten about them.
Grandparents tend to forget what it was like to raise a teenager. I know she means well. I feel pretty confident about the decisions I make as a mom. I am sure I will make some mistakes. We all do. My teenagers will make mistakes, too. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.
However I try to see things from her point of view. I’m sure someday when I am a grandmother, I may forget what it was like to raise a teenager.
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