Lately I have been thinking a lot about agency and choices and about how grateful I am for them. I have never been the type of person that enjoyed being told what to do. As a child I would go and do the opposite of whatever I was ordered to do. Even as an adult I find myself throwing up walls as soon as anybody tells me to do something. I enjoy making the right choice, and doing the right thing, as long as I am the one that gets to make that choice.
It was surprising to me when I was talking to someone who was investigating the church, and she told us that she just wished that the choices were taken away from us. She thought that it would be so much easier if we were made to do the things that we needed to do in order to return to our Heavenly Father.
I’ve sat and thought about what might make her say that she wanted her choices taken away from her. Had she watched children, and possibly friends struggle with the consequences of bad choices? Was it too difficult to turn away from her old way of life to embrace a new one? Did she simply want the way to become easy, after fighting for so long?
I don’t know that I will ever understand exactly why she felt the way she did, and she might not ever understand why I am so grateful for my agency. I am grateful that I know about the gospel and of the Atonement, which allows me to repent, after I have made mistakes. I know that repentance is not an easy process, but it does work. I have watched those around me struggle with decisions, as well, but each time they make the right decision their faith grows. We are truly blessed to have our agency, and to know of right and wrong. I think that I’ve gained my greatest understanding of this topic by reading Alma 39-42, in which Alma counsels his son Corianton about the plan of redemption.