Do you suffer from Guilty Mom Syndrome? Don’t think you know what it is? Sure you do.
GMS (Guilty Mom Syndrome) is the name I created for the irrational guilt I feel all too frequently as a mom. Every day I wake up hoping to be the best mom I can be. I try to play with my kids, to teach them the lessons of life, to talk with them and to laugh with them. I work hard at making sure they are safe, healthy, and dry. Yet inevitably, at the end of each day, when my kids are tucked safely and cozily in their crib and bed, the doubt comes creeping in. Suddenly the moment that I got a little too upset or spent too much time on the computer comes seeping into my head and ever so slowly my stomach starts to churn. Did I do all that I needed to and wanted to today? Was I a good mother today?
If you ever feel like me, listen up. Especially with our first babies, mothers strive for perfection. The slightest scrape on our child or the first sniffle often sends us running toward the doctor’s office. But here’s the reality moms – babies cry. Not just your baby, all babies. And babies fall. We do our best to protect them, but it is impossible to catch them each and every time. And here’s a newsflash – moms make mistakes. And you know what? It’s okay.
Sometime after my second child was born, I began to realize that I had to give myself a break or I was going to lose my mind. GMS was getting me nowhere. I finally realized that at the end of my day if I’ve spent some quality time with my children, attempted to get them to eat their vegetables instead of fries, and told them at least ten times how much I love them, that I’m doing okay. That’s not to say GMS isn’t still a struggle for me, because it is. I don’t think it ever goes away. I fully expect that, until my children leave the nest I’ll be second-guessing myself every step of the way. And when they do leave home, I’ll likely wish that I could start over and do it again.
If you’re having one of those GMS days today, grab your baby out of his or her crib, snuggle him, sing to him, love him in every way that you can. And tomorrow if you find that you aren’t able to do that as much as you wished, give yourself a break. They’ll forgive you.