Two words: Laffy Taffy.
Who willingly allows their kids to damage their teeth on that stuff?
Seriously, the only one laughing about Laffy Taffy is the dentist who invented it. That guy is chuckling all the way to the bank.
Okay, I’m not exactly sure who invented Laffy Taffy (it’s manufactured by Nestle and sold under their Willy Wonka Candy Company brand), but I know it wasn’t a mom.
No way!
All the moms I know actively seek out each and every piece of Laffy Taffy that lands in their kid’s trick-or-treat bag and tosses the stuff straight into the trash.
Nothing personal Laffy Taffy inventor, but have you actually watched a 5-year-old try to eat a piece of your colorful rectangular candy?
Put the two in a ring together and the chunk of Laffy Taffy will come out on top every.single.time.
For starters, you need a degree in engineering to even extract Laffy Taffy from its wrapper—-regardless of the weather.
I grew up in Hawaii where Laffy Taffy melts upon contact and subsequently adheres itself to its plastic packaging. Removing the sugary treat from its wrapper in the hot Hawaiian sun is like doing battle with Elmer’s Rubber Cement.
Conversely, in my current home state of Wisconsin (where it snowed during the second week of school) Laffy Taffy turns into a concrete-like substance when exposed to chilly temperatures.
Ergo, by allowing your child to consume a piece of Laffy Taffy you are basically letting him chew on a product that is akin to epoxy or liquid frisket, depending on the climate.
But, hey, that’s just my opinion. I happen to like my child’s teeth. What’s more, I’m trying to preserve my kid’s pearly whites, so I’m not faced with missing a car payment because I was forced to dig deep for a porcelain veneer.
If you happen to love Laffy Taffy (obviously, there are millions of you who do given the huge quantities of the sticky candy that land in my daughter’s Halloween treat bag)—-wonderful. In fact, send me your address and I will happily send you our Laffy Taffy loot.
In the meantime, tell me what Halloween candy is your nemesis. What treat does your child receive on Halloween that you absolutely forbid him to eat?
Image by: momontimeout.com
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