Have you ever heard hand fasting? In the last two decades, it has seen a revival from the religious fringe to the mainstream. In medieval times, a hand fasting indicated a betrothal and marriage. While there are many who interpret it as a trial marriage, the idea of the hand fasting lasting a year and a day dates from a time period when divorce was not an option, but the differences between couples and the harshness of the times called for a religious ceremony that honored both the compact of the marriage union, but also the human factor.
Many people label a hand fasting as lasting only a year and a day. This comes from our literature, both modern and historic. Sir Walter Scott first said it and there is also the common use of it in the Diana Gabeldon series. The idea behind a year and day is that it takes that a couple must be married that long in for a spouse to inherit property.
Hand fasting regained popularity among Western pagan traditions. In this case, pagan refers to earth based faiths and not to anything remotely resembling the worship of the devil. Earth based faiths include Wicca, Native American traditions and more. In the case of the hand fasting, the marriage is not a trial so much as an honest and open commitment to binding the physical and spiritual bodies of two individuals into wedlock.
A hand fasting is a wedding of declaration and may be performed by an ordained minister. In a hand fasting ceremony, there is no giving away of the bride by a father or mother – because the bride is giving herself to the groom and the groom is likewise giving himself to the bride. Make no mistake; the hand fasting is not considered a ‘fake’ or ‘pseudo’ marriage by any stretch of the imagination.
When a couple chooses hand fasting as their method of uniting in marriage, they are making a commitment to each other. Their commitment is monogamous, in flesh, heart and spirit. They are typically surrounded in a circle by the attendees while the minister or priest joins their hands by symbolically tying them together. It honors the trinity of man, woman and the divine and promises the trinity of what will hopefully be man, woman and child.
In this, it is an honest commitment to marriage and not a substitute for it. The venue for the hand fasting can be a living room, a garden or a waterfall – anywhere the couple has chosen. It can be held in the morning, when the first rays of the sun are coming above the horizon – the time honors the start of a new life beginning with the start of a new day.
A hand fasting, although a recognizable form of marriage, still requires a licensed justice of the peace, minister or other legally recognized individual must perform the ceremony unless the couple registers their marriage at a courthouse beforehand. What defines a wedding; a hand fasting or a marriage is the commitment of the individuals involved.
Oh and as to the idea of the year and a day? If a couple doesn’t want to be married – there are plenty of options available than a wedding that wasn’t a wedding and vows that weren’t really vows and going through the motions out of some idea that they are ducking out on the formalities for some chicanery and fakery. A hand fasting is a commitment and a beautiful tradition and whether the idea came from a historical novel, a handed down family tradition or an honest religious belief is no one else’s business than the couple celebrating their union through a hand fasting.