If you have gone through a divorce or lost a spouse from death, you will be faced with the day when your child starts asking about daddy. If your child is young, the questions may not come for a while but eventually, they will. Even if your child is quite young when the divorce or death occurred, the day will come, usually after your child starts school, when he or she wants to know where daddy is.
Remember, children are very smart and they will notice that other families have daddies while they have none. Without doubt, addressing this issue at any age can be rough but it is also important. I recommend you start by letting your son or daughter know just how much you love them. Many times, your child begins asking because noticing the difference in families creates insecurity. Therefore, reassure your child that they are loved and that you are not going anywhere.
From there, you can explain to your child that not all families are the same. Chances are your child will want to know why, which is fair. Your answers should be honest but simple. Usually, a simple and direct answer is all the child wants. Therefore, make sure you provide just enough information to suffice without complicating matters. If your husband has passed on, then explain that he is now in Heaven and one day, they will see each other. At that time, let your child know how much their daddy loved them. You could also share favorite stories and photos.
If the father were absent due to divorce, you should also explain that daddy loves them very much but that he is not able to be with the family right now. In some cases, this simple answer is all your child wants to hear. If your child pursues the issue further, you will need to use your best judgment in how much detail to share. You might say something such as, “Your dad is working and living in another place right now so it’s just you and me…let’s make it fun.” This process is challenging so you need to remain positive and honest.
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