Today is Hailey’s 18th birthday. I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed. What a wonderful journey this has been, from conception to this moment it has been the most amazing thing that has happened to me.
It hasn’t all gone as planned; I never imagined I would be a single parent. I wanted to live the fairy tale, be married to my Prince Charming forever and ever. I thought her father and I would grow old together and enjoy watching our grandchildren play. That really was just a fairy tale, our marriage has ended and we’ve moved on. We’ll still enjoy our grandchildren, we’ll just do it separately now.
Hailey’s birthday reminds me how fortunate I am that her father and I made the effort and have figured out how to co parent her. I don’t always agree with how he parents her, and I’m sure he feels the same way, but it’s important that we are both a part of her life.
Her birthdays are something we have always shared. I never understood why people cannot invite their ex spouse to their child’s birthday party, it just seems silly to me, birthdays parties are about the child.
The first two years after the divorce we hadn’t quite figured out how to share these special occasions. Now, we’ve got it figured out. Every year for Hailey’s birthday we both attend her party. Usually I throw the party but for her 17th birthday her Dad held the party at his house. I worried that he would forget to do all the little traditional things that I’ve always done, I worried that it wouldn’t be “right” because I wasn’t doing it. The party turned out just fine and it was actually quite nice not to have to plan and coordinate everything, all I had to do was show up with a cake.
We get along, my ex husband and I, we can still make each other laugh and we are united in our love for this person we created. Now every year for Hailey’s birthday there are water balloons and cake fights, friends and family but most importantly, lots and lots of love.