A year is a long time for a child whether they are 2, 4 or 6 years old. My daughter is always asking when we will give her a baby brother or a baby sister. When my sister-in-law was pregnant, my daughter would ask every day when would the baby get out of her tummy and we told her that the baby comes when the baby is ready.
When you have an older child or children and you are expecting a new arrival, they cannot truly understand how a new baby will affect their lives. How can they? For most new parents, no matter how desirable the new baby is – they don’t know what to expect. So the younger your older children are, the longer you wait to let them know.
How to Talk About the New Baby
You want to let your child know that the baby is growing inside of you. When he or she is ready to be born, they will come out. They will also be a part of the family and they are already a part of the family. You should never tell your child about the new baby in the first trimester because if something does go wrong – it is difficult enough for you to cope with — it would be even more difficult and confusing for your child.
We went through this a year ago, when my pregnancy ended in miscarriage by the third month. We did not want to tell her before the end of the first trimester and when the miscarriage happened, we were glad that we didn’t. It would have been very painful for her as it was for us and so we were glad we didn’t tell her.
It’s also important to let your older children know that when the baby is big enough, they will let you know when it is time to be born and since patience is difficult for children at any age, that’s another reason to delay telling them.
When you have the opportunity, be sure to take your older child on a tour of the hospital so they can learn more about what will happen. This can also comfort them when it’s time for you to go to the hospital to have a baby. Don’t take from your older child’s toys or personal belongings when the baby comes unless they themselves are offering it to them.
You want to foster the bonds between the siblings and you want to facilitate the relationship and the best way to do that is to minimize resentment and to keep feelings of good will growing. So are you having a new baby? How are you preparing your older children? Or how did you prepare your older children before your baby was born?
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