Someone asked me once what was the first thought I had when I met my husband. I’m not sure if they were looking for a moment of profundity or whether they were seeking that cue the music moment in the romantic comedy where boy meets girl and their eyes lock for the first time.
If they were, I think I may have disappointed them.
When I first met my husband, I thought he was a goober. Not in a stupid or derogatory sense, but he was constantly ‘on’ – it was like talking to a comedian plugged into an electrical outlet. He had a story for every situation, he could recount the funniest observations of human verisimilitude and he could raise teasing to a fine art of lampooning someone without maliciousness.
He was hilarious.
But he was also exhausting.
If you were to ask my husband what his first impression of me was, you would not get such a sanguine or well-defined answer. His is pretty basic and straightforward. He thought I had a great butt.
It’s funny – the little things you remember – about the time when you first knew your spouse. When they were not an open book to you but their own, enigma – fresh and undiscovered. Scott told jokes as easily as breathing. He made me laugh.
I asked him once – did I ever make you laugh? I remember that I laughed a lot, but I can’t recall if I returned the favor. He shrugged and said – probably – I know you always made me smile and you always made me feel – accepted and welcome.
I suppose that counts. I’ll take it anyway. They say we fall in love with the people that make us laugh. We stay in love with the people who make us feel safe to come out and play.
He made me laugh and I made him safe. We do a little bit of both now – which is probably why we’re still okay. Even if he isn’t quite the live wire comedian and I’ll never have a 23 year-old’s butt again.
Don’t let delight in each other and having fun with each other ever fall by the way side. Goodness knows, I know how it is to be so busy you barely have time to breathe or take five seconds for yourself. But you need the laughter, the delight and the love you have with your spouse and you should never be too busy for that.
Seriously, even just spending fifteen minutes together randomly babbling about a book, a movie, a story or a joke can recharge my day. Laughter – is the best medicine and it is a great part of marriage. Nurture it. They really should add “in laughter and in tears” to our vows.
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