After talking to several of my divorced friends, I realized that they all seemed to have one thing in common. Each could look back before marriage while they were dating and see the signs of a failed marriage. However, each one continued with the wedding.
In many cases, this is true. People are not completely shocked when their marriage ends in divorce. A small quiet feeling inside already knew, even before marriage, that it was not meant to be.
Yes there are the affairs, unfaithful romances, and deep secrets that surprise us all, yet many of us can spot a doomed marriage before it begins.
So why is it that people continue dating and lead up into marriage when something just is not right? I have a few theories on this one.
First, I believe that some people are scared to be alone. They are not happy with their partner yet they had rather be unhappy with someone than have no one. They fear that if they break off the relationship they will not find someone else.
Secondly, I think that some people just get stuck in what is comfortable. After they have been with someone for several months or years, they just are not in for a change. They get used to the way things are and continue to just go through the motions of the relationship because it is the easy thing to do.
Third, I feel is hope. Some women (and men too) have the hope that their partner will change with the words “I do”. They believe that things will get better. Unfortunately, things usually stay the same or get worse.
My final thought concerns society and family. Some couples are together because they feel that they are supposed to be together. Either their families have pushed them together or society makes them fit. Everyone thinks that they match-up (everyone except for the couple). An example of this is the stereotypical quarter back and head cheerleader couple.