In a previous blog I talked about helicopter parents, parents who hover over their kids making decisions for them. Most parents stop when their kids become adults but apparently some are not yet willing to cut the apron strings. Some parents are writing their college-age kid resumes, hounding career counselors, attending job fairs and even going so far as to call employers and ask why their child was not selected for a job.
School officials and employers are saying that these parents are not helping their children, in fact, they are hampering their careers. In the November 10th Washington Times, Michael Ellis of Delaware Valley College says this form of parenting has reached “epidemic proportions”. He related the story of how one father accompanied his daughter to a job fair, handed out her resume and answered most of the questions the recruiters asked her! And it does not stop once the kids are hired. Some parents are actually contacting the employer to discuss their child’s performance evaluations. I mean come on!
Donnell Turner of Loyola University in Chicago said he has seen parents dictate every move even going so far as deciding what the student will major in.
Some parents aren’t aware that they are overdoing it and most would not consider themselves to be a helicopter parent. Others say they are helping out by doing legwork for instance, but it’s up to their child to follow up. One mother said that she attended a job fair and obtained brochures and information to give to her son who was teaching in Taiwan and couldn’t attend.
And although some kids stated their parents did what they did with their best interests at heart, Ellis feels many kids are too dependent on their parents and blame baby boomer parents who he says have a reputation for coddling their children. But he also blames the students who he says are used to having their parents take care of every aspect of their lives.
Some recruiters reported that after making a job offer, these kids are saying they have to talk it over with their parents first, instead of saying they have to think it over. This sends a message to the employer that this potential employee may not be able to make any decisions without checking with mommy and daddy first.
It’s one thing to guide your children on their path to adulthood but when you dictate their every move you’re not helping them, you’re making it impossible for them to live in the real world and make real world decisions. So if you’ve been hovering, don’t you think it’s time you landed?
Image by: theguardian.com
See also:
Parenting With Love and Logic