Telling other people what is what seems to come quite easily for children. I don’t know about yours, but my three have always been rather forthcoming with their opinions and ideas about things. Of course, they also have a tendency to be rather opinionated, intolerant of others’ opinions and downright rude at times when it comes to sharing their ideas so I have found that part of my job as parent is to help them learn how to express and claim their opinions without insulting others or telling them they are “dumb,” “stupid,” or worse…
One thing I will ask my children when they get very opinionated is whether they are stating a fact, or an opinion. I will also ask them to support any claims or opinions they make. For example, if someone says “That television show is stupid,” I will ask him or her to explain or share why he or she thinks that way: “What is so stupid about it or why do you say that?” This way, I am trying to send a message that a person’s opinion is just that—not a known fact.
I think it also helps to draw my kids’ attention to other adult opinions—reading the editorial page in the paper or sharing a “review” of a movie or a play. By talking over what the critic wrote and focusing on what is opinion and whether or not the critic did a good job of making us either want to or NOT want to see the movie, I am hoping that my kids are further learning how a person can share an opinion without being disrespectful.
Helping children learn how to claim their opinions and understand how they are influenced by their value and belief systems can help them to understand themselves better, but it can also help them to be more tolerant of diverse opinions and other people’s preferences as well. Of course, my kids still tend to be ruder and less tolerant of their siblings differing ideas than anyone else—but I’m still working on that!
Also: Ask If They Want Your Opinion First
Teaching Our Children the Difference Between Having an Opinion and Being Opinionated