Our goal as parents, of course, is to raise our children to be caring, functioning, independent adults. Since none of us is perfect, part of growing into a competent, well-adjusted adult is learning who we are and what our gifts and challenges are. This self awareness is what guides us in making improvements to ourselves and being able to maintain rich, varied relationships. As parents, one of our challenges is to help our children become self aware and able to deal with their gifts and challenges on their own.
Practice makes perfect and helping our children learn ways to self-sooth and deal with their own temperament gives them opportunities to practice becoming increasingly self aware. Being able to identify and acknowledge where things come easily or more are more difficult for each individual gives them the information to begin to learn to cope. For example, if a child is particularly sensitive to noises and sounds, learning how to avoid situations where she may become over-stimulated or they may be too much chaos and noise is important. As a young child, the parent will likely be in charge of monitoring the child’s environment—but as she gets older, she can learn to do this for herself. The self awareness about what is best for her will give her control over her own choices.
In order to help our children become self aware, we need to be honest and open in understanding individual temperament. And, what might be a problem for a young child might easily shift and change over time. No one likes to be “pigeon-holed” into a definition that no longer fits. As children age, we gradually turn over the management of their own environment and allow them to make personal choices affecting their lives. The more self aware they are, the more they will be able to make appropriate and healthy choices for their own individuals selves.
See Also: Wisdom is Learned Through Experience and Teaching Children the Responsibilities That Come With Freedom