This past weekend, I spent most of my non-work and non-responsibility time with my kids. Instead of saying “yes” to invitations from others, I chose instead to say “yes” to invitations from my offspring. Having been through some rather bumpy and rocky teenage times and, now that my older daughters actually WANT to do things with mom again, I feel compelled to hoard and protect these times that we can spend together as a family.
My sixteen and seventeen year-old daughters and I went to dinner and a movie on Friday night, and then spent Saturday morning at the farmer’s and artist’s market in our home town. I have not always been so good at putting family first and I sometimes forget—or just need some time out with grown-ups—but I have learned that strong families (regardless of whether they are one or two-parent families) do things together.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate activities or expensive things—just renting a movie and making popcorn or going for a walk can be perfect. The important thing is that family time is not something that we do if we can’t find or think of anything better to do—it is a first choice. My kids know that I will not cancel plans with them just because I get a “better offer” and that I value and cherish our time together—even if it is just making fried chicken or baking a cake (two other activities I did with one of my children last week.)
We’ve all heard how important it is to eat dinner together as a family, but even in families where that is not always possible (like mine!), there are still plenty of ways to carve out and cherish regular family time. By making it a priority and being willing to keep your other obligations (social, work, etc.) in perspective, you can show your kids that you don’t just “say” that family is important—you’re really willing to put family first and in focus.
See Also: Bonding is an Ongoing Process
Tips for Single Parents to Build a Good Parent/Child Relationship