I know that the holidays can be a stressful, confusing time for all families—but single parent families have some extra details and stressors thrown in there. We may have to coordinate more events and help our children maneuver between two (or more families) and we may have the added constraints of a single parent’s budget and schedule.
As much as I would rather not, I’ve learned that I really need to get started early. Things will still tend to “seem” like they come together at the last minute—but if I get the ball rolling and start to map out schedules and expectations, it helps to alleviate some of the stress on my part and tends to help things go smoother. Those first couple holidays after my separation and divorce were incredibly hard—sad, frustrating, discombobulating—and I learned that avoidance didn’t make things work out any better.
As you put together your plan, calendar, and lists for the holiday season—here are some things to keep in mind: what do your divorce papers or parenting agreement say? Are the children obligated to be with certain parents for certain holidays or trade off each year? What are the expectations for this year? Will there be any travel arrangements to be made? These should be done early enough to get the best prices and itinerary. If you will be hosting any gatherings or events, start planning early and make sure they fit into the other obligations for the season.
I don’t know about you, but I need to start budgeting for the holidays early and I need to take into account extra things like: food, travel, fees for special events and performances, shipping and mailing, etc. These may seem like ordinary holiday expenses for the average family, but for a single parent on a tight budget—every little deviance can be a bit deal. So, I work out a holiday budget for the last quarter of the year that takes all of these things into account.
Relax, it might be some added stress during the holidays for the single parent, but it doesn’t have to do us in. Some early planning can help us take care of what we can manage and then we just have to let the rest of it go.
Also: Handling the Holidays as a Single Parent
Is it Too Early to Think About the Holidays?
Balancing Business Concerns and the Holiday Party Season