We’ve talked about the problems that financial stress can have on a marriage and during the holiday season, arguments over money and how you are spending it on presents for the kids and more can seem inevitable. Making the right decisions on how to spend your money can be hard most of the year, but when it comes to Christmas shopping and looking for the right presents for your kids and more – it can a great deal more difficult.
The Past Affects the Present
For years, my husband and I both made a decent income with extra disposable cash and the ability to shop with impunity. At Christmas time, we often over did it with our shopping and spoiled our friends and family. In many ways, we got the biggest thrill in the world out of playing Santa to as many people as we could and that previous behavior definitely affects us currently.
We can’t afford to go over board as we once did and instead of spoiling our friends, we have our daughter and our nephews and more than we’re shopping for. Despite our inclination to go nuts, we have to budget – in part because of financial constraints and in part because we want the gifts we give to have meaning. Christmas is often a windfall of new toys for the kids – it’s the time they get a huge pick of presents that they’ve wanted for a long time.
But at the same time, we don’t want it to be that they get every little single thing that catches their eye and we’re not going to put ourselves into severe debt to do that either. Christmas is a favored holiday here, but the tighter financial budget means we have to be prudent in our choices and it’s a good lesson for us and for our daughter.
So here are a few tips on how to avoid financial stress in your marriage during this holiday shopping season:
- Be frank in discussing what you and your spouse want to get for the kids for Christmas and if you have to create a budget, go over the Christmas lists with a fine tooth comb and be specific in eliminating the impulse requests – the things the kids have asked for because they saw it in a thirty second commercial on television
- Discuss honestly what your child needs as well as what they want – for example, if your daughter has 50 different dolls, she may not need more dolls – at least from you and your spouse for Christmas
- Make some long and short term goals for the holidays, setting aside a portion of the budget for holiday shopping and recognize that the typical family overspends by about 25% of their holiday budget and look for ways to eliminate that from your shopping this season
- We promote giving at Christmastime and not just receiving, so we always set aside some portion of our budget for Angel trees and more, our daughter is already looking forward to doing that shopping herself and it’s important to recognize that giving can cut into the budget, but the return is the positive feelings you generate in yourself and the lesson it offers your child as well
This may not seem like the perfect solution to all your financial concerns during the holiday season – but it’s a good place to get started and we’ll be talking about more ideas over the next few weeks as we head towards Christmas.
How do you and your spouse cope with the financial stress during the holidays?
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Marriage Dynamics: Spenders & Savers