The home teaching lesson for this month, given by President Thomas S. Monson, begins with a story of a wedge that I have loved since I first read it in a manual many years ago. The premise of the story is that a beautiful tree is destroyed in an ice storm by a wedge placed in its branches many years before. President Monson goes on to talk about hidden wedges in our lives.
The hidden wedges President Monson addresses are those of hardheartedness. The leaders of the church – and the scriptures – have taught us time and time again that an unwillingness to forgive hurts the angered person more than it does the person who did wrong. As we refuse to forgive others, we plant wedges in our hearts that can destroy us, spiritually and figuratively.
Forgiveness can be a difficult task. When we are wronged, or feel ourselves to be, we may not want to let go of our anger. If you’ll remember, I joined the church just before I turned 18. Almost a year beforehand, I had a huge fight with one of my best friends; in typical teen fashion, it was over a guy. Well, several guys. It seemed every guy that I was interested in was interested in her! Somehow, I determined that this was really her fault. We had a huge fight, and I carried a chip on my shoulder for basically my entire senior year. Not only did I lose my friendship with her, I also lost several other friends who stood by her (probably because I was in the wrong) and pretty much had a miserable senior year. Even after I joined the church and realized that I needed to forgive her, I am ashamed to say that I didn’t exactly manage it correctly; I believe I sent her a letter that said that even though she was wrong and did a terrible thing, I forgave her because I had to.
Yup, I was a real stellar example of forgiveness. I’m sure she was eager to learn more about the gospel!
Of course, sometimes people truly and maliciously hurt us, far more than causing us accidental pain. And sometimes the consequences of that pain can be life altering. Still, it is up to us to forgive, even as the Lord did. He showed us a divine example when He was willing to forgive those who executed Him. So, too, should we forgive those who intentionally or inadvertently cause us pain.
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