I’ve mentioned before that my parents divorced when I was seven years old. My mother had sole custody and my dad had regular visitation. My brother and sister and I visited Tuesday night and every other weekend. In the beginning, we didn’t have much to worry about with school. I was in second grade and didn’t have much work to do at home yet. As we got a little older the issue of homework began to arise. My dad figured that since we didn’t get to see him very much all of our homework needed to be done before we went to his house. I even remember him throwing away homework because he was angry several times. As my siblings got older and the homework load started getting greater and greater this became more and more of an issue. They were afraid to bring homework to their dad’s house, so they would come home and be up with my mother all hours of the night trying to finish their assignments.
It is important to communicate with your ex about things that are going on with your kids in school. Let them know when they have big projects coming up and encourage them to be a part of it. If Dad is a real math whiz it is ok for the kids to ask him for help, even when it’s not his weekend. This helps give the kids stability and shows them that even though you don’t live together anymore you both still want to be involved in their lives. Keep in mind that you are both still parents. The kids should be able to do homework the same way they would if you were still married. It doesn’t take the time away from you, it gives you a chance to be a part of their normal everyday lives.
Share your child’s successes with your ex. Let your child call and tell them about that A on their spelling test or the assembly they had at school that day. It is important for you both to still be a part of your children’s lives. They need to know that you are both very proud of them and that you are both on board when it comes to their schooling.