I had a humbling experience while on vacation a couple of weeks ago. We were in Chicago and my daughter and I were going to lunch at the American Girl Place. I was on Ontario Street and I needed to get to South Michigan Street. My husband showed me the map and told me how to get there. As he talked, I was digging through my purse, getting things together and, well, not listening. I thought I knew where I was going.
So, my daughter and I walked down Ontario and turned left onto Michigan. We walked, and walked and walked. We went about a mile and a half before I stopped and asked for directions. As it turned out, we should have turned right onto Michigan. Frustrated, we turned around and walked the other way.
I was pretty sure my husband had given me wrong directions. I talked about this to my daughter. I said, “Daddy told me to go the wrong way. I should have figured it out myself!” When I spoke those words to my daughter, it knocked Daddy down a couple of notches. What I communicated to her was that Mommy knows more than Daddy and I should not have listened to him.
We made it to the store with plenty of time to look around and enjoy our lunch. When we got back to our condo my daughter quickly informed my husband that he had been wrong and that from now on, Mommy was going to trust herself. Yikes! Hearing it come from her little mouth made me cringe. What kind of seeds had I planted in my little girl’s heart? I felt terrible. My husband quickly pulled out the directions he had given me. He had told me to turn right. We got lost because of my inattention. It was time for humble pie.
I explained to my daughter that we got lost because Mommy didn’t listen when Daddy was giving directions. I apologized for saying that I couldn’t trust Daddy and I told her I was wrong to say any of these things in front of her. I assured her that Daddy was trustworthy. I hope that she remembers my apology and not my earlier ranting.
It was wrong for me to rant about Daddy to my daughter. I’ve always been careful not to do that, up till then. I didn’t realize the affect it would have. I realized through this that I have a responsibility to always honor my husband in front of the kids. When I am disrespectful or I talk negatively to him or about him, he loses clout in their eyes. When I honor him and praise him, the kids are assured that they have the greatest dad in the world.
Father’s Day is this weekend. Tools, ties, cookies, and fishing rods are all nice gifts for dads. We are framing pictures to hang in my husbands office at work. However, wives, why not consider giving him something else as well. Tell your kids about how great Dad is. Make a commitment that you will never tear him down and rob him of his right to be his children’s hero. That’s what he would really like for Father’s Day.