Yesterday we looked at the command to practice hospitality and saw some problems I encountered largely caused by expectations, sometimes of others, but more often my own ideas about the way it should happen.
Several things happened to change my view about hospitality.
First, a young single man said he always felt relaxed and welcomed in our home and enjoyed not only the meals but our company, ‘because we were relaxed.’ I never had the heart to tell him that beforehand I was anything but relaxed. But his words encouraged me.
Second, I started to realize that people were coming to spend time with us, not check whether our house was sparkling. I learned to relax and realized I didn’t have to provide a feast. What was important was sharing a meal together not turning it into a competition of who could cater best.
In our new church two couples asked us over for lunch after church. It wasn’t a big production, just simple salad or sandwiches. Did it matter? Not a bit. The main thing was we got to know each other over a meal, however simple.
These days I don’t fuss near as much. The house only has to be clean and tidy, not immaculate. It is a home, not a show place.
Other changes have taken place. When we invite guests for a meal we often invite two or three couples instead of one, or several single people, a mixture of both, or a family and a single person or two. After all, it really doesn’t require any more preparation time to provide a meal for six, eight or ten than it does for four.
The menus have changed too. I’m following the K.I.S.S. adage – Keep it Simple, Stupid. That meal sometimes might be a lunch of salad or quiche, fresh bread and fruit. Dinner doesn’t have to be an gourmet meal. It might be a lasagna and salad followed by fruit and frozen yogurt, rather than an elaborate dessert. Or it might be grilled chicken with an interesting sauce and vegetables or a roast and veggies cooked in the barbecue, followed by a simple dessert.
I no longer cook meals that require a lot of fiddling but prepare as much I can of a meal the beforehand, so it takes the pressure off on the actual day.
I’ve realized you can’t please all the people all the time –sometimes you’ll get it wrong. To counteract this, I might at times cook two different casseroles instead of one and put them on the table along with vegetables and rice and let people help themselves so they only eat those things they like. There’s sure to be something on the table people will eat.
I’ve found as I’ve relaxed about hospitality, the whole experience is far more enjoyable for me and my family. Our guests are still fed and enjoy their meals and we have time to enjoy their company instead of stressing about housekeeping and menu matters. I’d love to hear other people’s suggestions regarding hospitality and entertaining. Maybe we could even start a collection simple recipes for such times.
Please visit these related blogs