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Houseplants: Green Friends Worth Keeping

The key to growing healthy plants is to remember that they have feelings, just like you and me. Sometimes they feel sunny, shady, lusty, misty, crummy, unwanted and even unloved. Treat them like favored pets and they will love you back (without a visit to a vet or the litterbox!). Name your plants. T his bonds them to you and “drink, Maxine, drink”, goes a lot further than just pouring water down a pot. Don’t buy or sell your plants on their birthdays as this will cause severe separation anxiety. Avoid mentioning above a whisper the names of holidays and celebrations that contain green words or ideas (St. Patrick’s Day, Christmas and most golfing expeditions, just to mention a few.) This way they won’t feel in competition with other green things.

All kidding aside, before buying a plant, decide where it will go in your home. Don’t listen to that little voice in your head that tells you will find a place for it once you get it through the door. (That only works for items purchased in yard sales and flea markets.) Ask yourself if it will decorate a window, fill an empty corner or serve as a centerpiece. Many people are afraid to buy larger plants because of the cost, design considerations or high maintenance. Mourning the loss of a large plant or tree might be more significant than the demise of some tiny sprig, but the care involved really isn’t any different. Certainly the larger plants are more dramatic, but some of the small ones can vie for the Academy Awards as well. (There are no small plants, only small planters.)
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More plants die from too much watering than any other cause. This is partially because an over-watered plant sends out no signals of distress as in the case of a dry plant whose leaves will droop. Generally, the warmer the room, the more often your plants will need water. Always use room temperature water and apply it thoroughly. Watering a plant just a little each time will moisten only the top part of the soil, leaving the rest of the plant as dry as a bone. Use discarded vase water to water plants if it is available. It may look and even smell a bit yucky, but it is good for plants and is equivalent to adding peas, spinach or broccoli to a human diet. Rainwater is also good for houseplants. Just pretend you’re Gene Kelly. (Talk about another fantasy.) Dance with a bucket outside your home or yard during the next rainstorm in your area. You may end up with more than a bucket of rainwater— maybe even a new friend or two!

To provide nutrients that your plants need for good growth, use any complete all-purpose houseplant fertilizer. Long acting ones can cause problems and should be avoided. Dilute fertilizer to a weaker strength than that recommended by the manufacturer. Never try to make up for a missed feeding by using a stronger solution. After watering, over-feeding is the largest cause of houseplant death. Don’t feed a plant when the soil is dry. Water it first and above all, remember that fertilizer is food, not medicine and should never be given to a plant that is ailing or nesting.

In closing, consider your plants as silent companions in your home. They may not pay rent, but they do “sing for their supper” by enhancing surroundings with their beauty and their grace. They don’t talk back and they are grateful for every drop of water you give them. They don’t need a college education and they never gossip. Make them part of an indoor jungle all your own. Let others in, if you dare. Be careful not to go too far. If all else fails and they die, the jungle fantasy need not be abandoned. Rent some tigers and run and hide!

This entry was posted in Home Decor and tagged , , , , by Marjorie Dorfman. Bookmark the permalink.

About Marjorie Dorfman

Marjorie Dorfman is a freelance writer and former teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York. A graduate of New York University School of Education, she now lives in Doylestown, PA, with quite a few cats that keep her on her toes at all times. Originally a writer of ghostly and horror fiction, she has branched out into the world of humorous non-fiction writing in the last decade. Many of her stories have been published in various small presses throughout the country during the last twenty years. Her book of stories, "Tales For A Dark And Rainy Night", reflects her love and respect for the horror and ghost genre.