Since October is Positive Attitude Month, I thought it’d be a good time to reflect on our attitudes and how they affect our marriages. Because they definitely have an impact.
Mirror Effect
In our household we live by the “you get what you give” motto. It’s basically the same principal as the Golden Rule: treat me how you expect me to treat you back.
I’m currently reading The Secret in which this principle is emphasized time and again. I first came to know of it, though, in a different manner (what you think upon grows) courtesy of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.
This applies to attitudes in the following way: how others behave towards you reflects how you behave towards them. If you’re pleasant and complimentary, they’ll mirror that back to you. If you’re ugly and hateful, that’s what you’ll see.
For instance, when my husband’s stressed and his attitude poor, it can influence my stress levels, which is guaranteed to affect our relationship’s aura. And vice versa.
Mood Shifts
Consider your own marriage. Think of the times your spouse has come home in a foul mood. Think of the times that foul mood has affected your own mood. Before you knew it you were both grousing and grumbling.
Now think of the times one of you has come home in a fantastic mood. Maybe you got a promotion or your spouse received some bit of good news. Suddenly you’re both elevated to cloud nine and giggling and laughing and enjoying life to the fullest.
What if you could have that every day for the rest of your married life? Maybe you won’t always know the cloud nine euphoria, but what if you could know more bliss than blah or bah humbug?
Harnessing Harmony
You can! All you have to do is switch to a positive outlook and you’ll not only shift your own individual mood, but the mood of your marriage.
Okay, so not everyone is “up” all the time. We all have blue days. The best way to make them sunnier is to pay a compliment. Why? Because instead of focusing on the rut, despair, or problem you’ll focus on something good. Which will attract more of the same.
For example, Wayne recently had one of those days where nothing went right. Work was bad, his dinner was bad, his drive home was bad. Everything was bad, bad, bad.
One thing I cherish more than anything during this temporary long distance situation we find ourselves enduring is our nightly calls. But here he was in an awful mood, which at first tempered my joy at hearing his voice. Until I decided not to let it.
“You know what, pumpkin? I am truly sorry you had such a rotten day. Why don’t you call it a day and go to bed early? But before you do, I want you to know that just hearing the sound of your voice, grouchy as it might be right now, really made my day. I can’t wait to see you this weekend.”
That was the switch he’d needed flipped. Instead of focusing on all the bad he’d known that day, he said, “It’s really good to hear your voice too.” And suddenly we were talking about positive things, like all the things we wanted to go do when he came home that weekend.
Dare to Readers
Practice harnessing the power of a positive attitude in your own relationship the next time it needs a mood shift. Let me know if it makes a difference.
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