I was recently with a group of moms and one of them asked me this question: How can you possibly live up to the attachment parenting ideals with twins? I think it’s a valid question, but it requires a paradigm shift in what we think attachment parenting actually is.
What is Attachment Parenting?
There are already some good articles on this site about attachment parenting and what it encompasses. I think the problem in envisioning how someone might parent twins this way is that we’ve tended to narrow the AP style down to certain behaviors (like slinging, breastfeeding and co-sleeping for example) rather than a definition. Along those lines–I offer this definition: Attachment parenting is meeting your baby’s needs by following his cues. It’s also meeting your baby’s needs within the boundaries, limits and confines of your immediate family. You’ll notice there are no specific behaviors defined here.
With that said, the simple answer to the question is that you do the best you can, as often as you can for as much as you can. With twins, the balancing act is center stage as meeting your own needs as well as the needs of your family becomes more difficult. However, I realize what the person was really asking was how do you co-sleep, breastfeed, and sling two babies at once. My answer to that is: very carefully!
Promoting Attachment Through Skin to Skin Contact
Most multiples are born as preemies and so I’m just going to assume we’re talking about preemies for the purposes of this blog. Skin to skin contact, called ‘kangaroo care’ in the NICU, is essential for good development. As soon as you are able, it is essential that you hold your babies. . .and since they’ll be small you can hold them at the same time. This has numerous benefits.
First of all, baby to mother contact has been shown to help preemies regulate their temperature and their breathing. In fact, kangaroo care is the common treatment in hospitals in poorer countries. Studies show that it can be as effective as a regular incubator. Secondly, there comes a benefit in holding the babies together at one time.
Numerous studies show that twins in the NICU do better when they’re placed together in the same basinet. While that’s not always possible, when it is the generally observed effect is that the weaker twin begins to gain weight and become stronger the more time he/she is with the other twin.
Check back tomorrow for answers on how to manage other attachment parenting practices with twins.
Valorie Delp shares recipes and kitchen tips in the food blog, solves breastfeeding problems, shares parenting tips, and current research in the baby blog, and insight, resources and ideas as a regular guest blogger in the homeschooling blog. To read more articles by Valorie Delp, click here.
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