Like most couples, my husband and I argue. We don’t go behind closed doors though; we don’t believe that’s the best thing for our children, despite what other parents might think.
When my husband and I argue, we have loud disagreements. We don’t spit out profanities but our voices naturally rise. Our children know we are fighting.
The thing with our disagreements though is that we always talk through them and they don’t last very long. We come full circle.
We start with something that upset us, we vent about it, and we calm down, talk about it and then hug to make up. Our children witness this conflict resolution style that we have with one another.
Why We Feel It’s Okay to Argue In Front of the Children
Now, why do we feel that it’s best for our children to see us argue? Because it’s teaching them how to argue and what to do when there is a disagreement.
We don’t want our children to think they can’t speak their mind. We also want them to know that everyone argues but that doesn’t mean that the relationship comes to end because of it. Instead, they learn that a resolution is necessary.
You don’t walk away from an argument; you stay to work it out. After everything is said and done, you still love the person you had the disagreement with.
How Our Conflict Resolution Affects Our Children
I’ve seen how our conflict resolution has affected our children. Once I witnessed my daughter arguing with her brother, who is three years younger, and she said, “Okay, let’s end this fight – this is what I want and that’s what you want, so what are we going to do about it?”
That was a proud mommy moment. It also reassured me that my husband and I are giving our children the skills they will be able to use now and throughout their life.
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