I was talking with a friend of mine who is a new parent. She was going on and on about how “in love” she is with her baby and how she just cannot imagine ever being able to leave the infant! In fact, she cannot see how anyone can get a babysitter, send their child off to public school or (gulp) spend a night apart from the baby. I couldn’t help but smile. I remember well being that enamored parent! So in love with my darling baby or babies that I just couldn’t see myself NOT being the ever-present mother. Fortunately life gives us lessons and cycles and twists and turns and often it is the baby who pushes away from us first. Still, I cannot help but wonder how I got from being so passionately in love with that new baby to being quite ready for that grown person to head out the door?
I think Nature is more in charge of things that we would like to admit. I would have to say that I have been extremely bonded with my three children. I was acutely aware during each birth, I breast fed all three of them, and I’ve volunteered at preschool, elementary school and even for middle school projects to their embarrassment. I coached sports teams, headed up the Girl Scout troop, made costumes and cookies and checked over tomes of homework. You would think that I would be one of those classic parents who couldn’t and wouldn’t let go. Nature has a way, however, of creating enough friction, enough pulling away, and enough inevitable separation and writing on the wall that it becomes obvious—it is time for them to go.
Besides, as a wise mentor of mine has said, it is not like we suddenly STOP being the parent. We are still bonded and still attached, it just becomes obvious that it is time to let go and allow the next stages to unfold. No matter how much they whine and squawk and say they are not ready—they are—and we parents are too.
See Also: Chasing Them Out of the Nest