When a mother decides to place her baby for adoption through an agency, privately or independently she may choose to have a closed or confidential adoption or she may wish to have an open or semi-open adoption agreement with the adoptive parents.
An open adoption might include some visits with the adoptive family and child during the years and a semi-open adoption usually means the adoptive parents will agree to send pictures and an update letter every now an then. Once in awhile even in an open or semi-open adoption things don’t go the way it was planned. Sometimes, the birthmother finds it difficult to stay emotionally connected and the visits or letters and pictures are more painful then she wants to continue. Sometimes the adoptive parents find it difficult to keep their agreement and stop the visits, letters and pictures.
No matter how a mother thinks the adoption plan will go there are times when things don’t go the way they were planned. Sometimes a birthmother decides to place her baby in a confidential or closed adoption from the beginning. Either way, as they years pass a birthmother may still wish to make sure the child can contact her in the future.
There are things a birthmother or birthparents can do to make future contact possible. It is very common for people who are adopted as babies or children to grow up and want to meet their birth parents. In some states such as Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Kansas, Oregon, and Tennessee, State laws permit adopted people the right see their original birth certificate when they become adults.
In the future it might be possible for adopted people in all states to have the same access of information but, at this time some private national organizations, and several internet sites have set up adoption registries to help people find one another.
A registry works like this: Birth parents leave information about the birth of the baby along with an email or mailing address. Birthmothers and birthparents, keep the contact information updated and can register at any time, even years after the child was born.
When the adopted child is an adult, he or she can call or write this registry or visit the internet site. If what the child knows about his or her birth matches what the registry has, the registry will release your current address and telephone number to the child, and you could be contacted.
There other ways to make it possible for an adopted child to contact birth parents. Some adoption agencies, attorneys who arrange private adoptions and state children’s services offices, will hold a letter in their files from the birthmother or birth family. In the letter a birthmother can say why she chose adoption and how to get in touch with her if the child ever wants to. If the agency or attorney that you are working with will not agree to do this, you may wish to work with somebody else.
There are several national organizations and Internet sites offering advice and support to birth parents, and adopted people with information about contact and reunion. The National Adoption Information Clearing House is a great place to find out where an Adoption Registry in your state might be. There are also many Internet adoption registries or reunion sites where a birth parent or an adopted person might find a way to contact each other. Adoption.com is a huge website with several reunion features and Reunion Registry is another great resource for birth parents and grown up adopted children to find each other.
Photo credits for this blog entry: 
(Mother no use restrictions Son Christopher Bruno these photos)
Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms:
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.