I was asked an interesting question the other day. In the due course of a conversation with a friend, we were talking about a number of different things that were going on in our lives and she asked me if what bothered me most about my current medical condition was what it was or what it would do to me if they had to remove an ovary? I thought about this at length because at the time, I couldn’t really answer the question to my own satisfaction.
What You Are?
When it comes to defining ourselves, do you see yourself for who you are and what you are? Do you look at your strengths and your talents? Do you place value on those things? For example, do I value what I am as a writer? Do I value what I am for my knowledge? What about my work with the kids? Do I define myself by being helpful with the students at my daughter’s school? What about my work as a substitute? How about my value as a mother and a wife? Do I give myself credit for these things? How do I define myself?
What You’re Not?
Unfortunately, like many other people out there, I probably don’t give myself a lot of definition for all the things that I am – but rather for the things that I am not. That is what concerned me about the surgery – what if it is cancer? What if it means I can’t have more children? What if it means I can’t be as physically active as I was before? What if I can’t recover from it as well as I’d like to? What if I can’t be the parent or the person I want to be because of this?
Most of us – I’m loathe to say all – look at the negative parts of our lives, our physical beings and even our personalities and we see those flaws under the glare of the hot lights. We define ourselves by what we’re not. We’re not good citizens or we’re not good parents or we’re not good athletes or maybe we’re not good housekeepers or good with money or even good with people. Ask anyone out there what they aren’t good at – and chances are you’ll get a long list. Ask them what they are good at or what good things define them and they’re going to have trouble with it.
So here’s my challenge to you – how do you define yourself? What are you and what makes you good and worthwhile and worth the time and the investment – in yourself if from no other? Can you answer that question?
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