I admit, song lyrics make me stop and think, especially unusual ones. The other day, “Grenade” by Bruno Mars was on the radio. For those not familiar with the song, he talks about all the things he’s willing to do for her, including taking a bullet through his brain, but she won’t do the same. It makes him question the depth of her commitment to him—well, he actually tells her off, in the song, but we’ll phrase it more nicely here.
As I thought about this, I wondered. When we list off all the things we’d do for someone, and they don’t reciprocate, is it because they aren’t committed, or is it because they have different ways of showing their commitment? Maybe they’re willing to make a huge sacrifice for us, one that is their all and their everything, but we don’t recognize it as such. Do we want them to speak our language and make our sacrifice before we’ll understand that they are giving their all?
We already know that men and women speak different languages. But it doesn’t stop there. Every man speaks his own, and every woman speaks her own. When you think about your partner, do you know what language they are speaking? Do you know when to recognize that they really are giving you everything they have?
Learning each other’s language is something that takes time. I’ve been married for almost sixteen years, and we’re just finally starting to get it. Along the way, we’ve had to stop and say, “Let’s see if we can figure out what we’re really talking about here.” There were times when I was sure my husband wasn’t as committed as I was, but when I really listened to what he was saying, then I could see that yes, he really was.
So rather than hold your partner to your standards, take a look at their standards. Maybe he wouldn’t say, “I’d die for you,” but maybe he expresses that same emotion in another way. We all come into our relationships from different perspectives, and we should try to see our partners perspectives for ourselves.
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